FOR FU%K SAKE MURPHY.

Every Saturday, both kids have to clean their rooms.

Garrison gets straight up and does it. Little to no issues. His room is done in 5 minutes and he's downstairs helping with the rest of the house.

Murphy however.

I walk past her room two hours later and somehow it looks worse. There are teddies lined up on the edge of the bath, damp. She's got a full face of makeup on and I mean FULL, eyeshadow and everything. The floor has more stuff on it than when she started.

"Fuck sake Murphy... can you just stay on task and do your room."

I don't know why I say it but I always bloody do. It's like it's programmed into me. And it never helps. I can actually see her little face drop as she spirals into shame.

You might have seen my Instagram story the other day about the speeding fine. It's a long story behind it... but the bottom line was if I didn't get it out of the business's name and into mine, it was going to cost me an extra $4,000.

I tried to do it a million times. Got four extensions. Missed every single one. It's now at the stage where I have to appear before a judge to appeal the refusal.

Six months of opening the laptop, staring at the screen, closing the laptop. Six months of it sitting in the back of my head like a low hum I couldn't switch off.

The process is annoying, but for a brain like mine it is near impossible. Near. Not actually impossible.

And then one morning I brought my laptop to breakfast with my friends. I told them what I needed to do. I didn't actually need their help to do it. I just needed someone in the room with me. While they chatted around me, I sat and got the stupid thing submitted.

It took 15 minutes.

Six months of avoidance. Done in 15 minutes. Because other people were in the room.

Thirty-four years ago, I was Murphy.

I just couldn't do my room by myself. Every week I'd get yelled at for just not doing it.

And I hear her now, every week, begging her brother to come and sit with her while she does it. Not to help. Just to be there. Because that's the difference between it happening and it not happening.

That is literally the whole point of the Village.

Not motivation. Not accountability in the Instagram sense. Just other people being present. It is easier to get things done when people are there. That's not a personal failing. That's just how some of our brains work. And if you've spent your whole life being told to just focus, just do the thing, just stay on task. I want you to know it was never about willpower.

You just needed someone in the room.

There's actually a name for it. Body doubling. It's been studied, particularly in people with ADHD, and what the research shows is that the presence of another person helps regulate the nervous system enough to actually start and follow through on tasks. Not because they're watching you. Not because they're helping. Just because they're there. Your brain feels safer. Less alone. And from that place, you can actually function.

It's not laziness. It's not lack of discipline. It's not a character flaw you need to fix.

It's just how some brains are wired. And the world wasn't really built with that in mind.

The Village was.

Two hours. First hour is real conversation and check-ins. Second hour is headphones in, timers set, get the thing done. And if you want to stay and keep working after? You totally can. I'm always the last to leave.

Sandra x